For We Walk By Faith, Not By Sight

I have to confess the same sins over and over again. I make the same mistakes over and over again. I get caught up in the travails of life and forget to praise, forget to seek His help. In the dark moments I wonder if, at some point, God is going to wash His hands of me, if I am one step away from a cry for forgiveness, a cry for help, that He won’t answer because I have taken so long to change. Most of the time, though, I praise Him and thank Him for His infinite love and mercy. I know that He has never walked away from me! Even though even our human parents might wash their hands of us, He hasn’t no matter what we’ve done or how hurtful and frustrating to Him we must be at times! It was so appropriate that our music minister sang this song in church today — today of all days (and that’s for another post, the emphasis on today) — and I wanted to share it with you.

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Laurel Wreaths Reflections is sponsoring New Years Meditations. Rather than the typical New Year’s Resolutions, Lori asks

We, as Christians need to be proactive in our spiritual growth. So my question that I ask myself at the beginning of 2009 is “How do I plan to grow to know more about Christ and how do I plan on spreading the gospel?”

My spiritual goals are:

1. To grow in my knowledge of the Bible.  Due to some cognitive blips,  I don’t memorize verses very well but I do retain concepts.  Last year I started a read-through of the Bible from Genesis through Revelation and I want to finish that.  I have been doing a sort of a quick read-through, to grasp the big concepts, and then by February or March I expect to re-do my read, more slowly, grasping more of the details as I go.
2. I’m starting a prayer journal.  I have had sort of a halfway one that I’ve kept on my computer but, after reading stories from people who have received friends’ or family members’ prayer journals down the road, I’ve decided to do a handwritten one.  Maybe it will benefit somebody some day.
3. I am supposed to be starting Beth Moore’s Stepping Up Bible study with my church ladies but because of some unexpected obstacles to that (isn’t amazing how they pop up when the path we’re about to take isn’t the one we should be on?) I’m probably going to be doing her Breaking Free study online instead.  And I’ve heard good stuff about Esther as well.
4. Service.  I intend to serve for His glory.  And it isn’t starting out in church, like I had thought, but it’s starting out at home.  Tending some of the things that, in truth, I don’t like doing at home and doing it with joy in my heart as though I were doing it for HIM — because I am.

That’s pretty much it for me for this year.  I’m afraid to take on any more than that because I’ve already proved to myself that I have a tendency to get overinvolved!  What about you guys?

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Over at Internet Cafe Devotions, Kim posed the question:

What is the most important truth/lesson you feel God taught you in 2008? How will that truth change your life in 2009?

God used 2008 to teach me that He is ever faithful. He never falters in His promise to work good through all things (paraphrased from Romans 8:28). I can handle all things that come my way if I rely on Him for strength and guidance. I learned that I have to die to self and live for Christ in order to truly live. I could go on and on but the short version is that he retaught me Philippians.

Phil 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known unto God.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Philippians 1:21 For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

So that answers the first part of the question. As to the second part, “How will that truth change my life in 2009?,” the answer is that I will (am already) living more in faith than in fear. I am learning how to be a good Christian, ever grateful for the specific lessons we are given throughout the Bible but, again featuring Philippians, these come to mind:

Philippians 1:27-28 Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; And in nothing terrified by your adversaries: which is to them an evident token of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that of God.

and

Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

as well as

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

And these verses are just the beginning! Isn’t it marvelous that God gave us a WHOLE BOOK of lessons to learn and instructions to follow and, if we simply do them, we can be with Him?

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As I was reading at Internet Cafe Devotions I found the post Are You Going To Freak Out Or FAITH Out? by Sue of Praise And Coffee. (Are all of those links enough hints that you should go and read the post?)

Sue asks if we have ever been alone with a thought that, uncontrolled, spirals to fear, anxiety, anger, confusion, sadness or depression. Sue’s entire post is great (again, a not-so-gentle hint to go and read it) but this question particularly caught my attention.

Fear is my big bugaboo. To answer the title of Sue’s post, I generally freak out once the thoughts start spiraling out. It is the area where Satan can grab me and lead me to do things that I wouldn’t do if I could think clearly and take just a minute to drop to my knees and lay the original thought and the fear in the hands of the Lord. I have been afraid of some legal action that was promised against me back in the summer that might potentially impact my entire family. I have been afraid of being hurt in my marriage again. I have been afraid of Studly having another cardiac or liver/kidney event.

I forgot this very important passage from 2 Timothy 1:7: For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

I have noticed that the closer walk with God I seek, the more things pop up in my life of which I am fearful. I sought counsel with wise, Christ-loving women who sternly and prayerfully reminded me that giving in to that fear is giving in to the enemy. Fear nearly caused me to close this blog over the last few days. Fear has kept my from fully opening and sharing my heart with people who matter in my life. Fear separated me from my Biblical submission studies. Fear separated me to some degree from my prayer life.

So here’s where I changed the pattern. When it occurred to me what was happening I reached out to women I can trust, sisters in Christ, who prayed for me, that I could know God’s will in some of the particular issues. When it was pointed out to me that these fears were of SATAN trying to separate me from my faith, I went to Scripture.

Actually, I really only needed to go and read my refrigerator. One of my very favorite verses is written on the whiteboard on my fridge and my kids know better than to mess with it.

2 Chronicles 20:15 …Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s.

I have prayerfully turned all of my fears over to God because I believe that He can handle them where I can’t but, more than that, there is nothing that any human being can do to me that I can’t survive — or even thrive through — with God’s help. I pray that with every challenge whether it be financial, legal, emotional/mental, marital, loss, illness (do you get the picture?) I will drop to my knees in prayer to my God who is ALWAYS faithful and ask that He allow me to use whatever the particular challenge is for HIS GLORY. That’s all that matters. Back to my submission studies, my more fulfilling prayer life, my Bible Before Breakfast — no wavering. No letting the enemy in. All for HIS GLORY.

Here’s one final quote from George Muller: The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith; and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.

So to answer Sue’s question? I’m going to FAITH OUT! My God is ever faithful and He, throughout all of the messes I have made in my life, throughout all of the triumphs I have had in my life, has carried me through it all. So, as the Mercy Me song says, Bring The Rain!

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How heartbreaking.  According to news reports, John Travolta’s 16-year-old son has died after hitting his head during a seizure.  I cannot imagine the family’s pain and bewilderment and I lift them up in prayer.

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I can’t sleep so here’s a quick little post. How’d you guys meet your spouses and how long did it take to know that he/she was “the one”?        I’ll go first… Studly and I met online nearly 21 years ago in the era of Commodore computers and Q-Link. We logged hours of online chat time (and back then you had to pay by the minute or something!) and phone time.  I was 25, no kids, never been married.  He was 40, divorced and with custody of his 3 kids.  Our hearts connected.  Within 3 weeks I had left my fledgling career, said goodbye to my family and moved to Cleveland to begin what would be the scariest — and best — rollercoaster ride of my life!       So — what leaps of faith did you take for love?

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We knew it would happen eventually. The in-laws visited today. My MIL is 95, my FIL is 91. FIL fought in WWII in Germany and saw some VERY nasty action. For the rest of his life those 3 years or so have been the defining points of his life. Everything else, his wedding, his children, everything has paled in comparison. We (MIL, my SIL, Studly and me) have heard the stories so frequently we could tell them ourselves. And somehow, the number of Nazis he was instrumental in capturing increases exponentially with every telling. Soon he will have defeated the entire Third Reich by himself! (Actually I say that with a lot of affection and a tremendous amount of respect for what he went through over there, as I said, it was very nasty action.) With his diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and the advance of the disease, it has only gotten worse. So today it happened. The telling of the stories skipped over those of us in the middle of this generational sandwich and went on to BK and NSBK. My boys handled it with a lot of grace considering that they have been on the periphery of hearing the stories their whole lives. I was really proud of them. At the same time it’s sad that, for the most part, FIL doesn’t recognize many of the family members and has no recall at all of recent events.

He has always liked having coffee and a sweet in the afternoon, and that habit continues, so I had the coffee set to brew as soon as they walked in the door (French Vanilla as he likes flavored coffee) and had some apple danish ready to serve with the coffee. When he asked, “Potrei avere una tazza di caffè?” I was all ready to go! Hey, it’s only been nearly 21 years! I had gotten him a huge tin of gourmet cookies for Christmas (this was a combo Christmas/New Year visit) and those were a big hit. Cookies — and he probably liked those more than any other gift we’ve given over the years!

Studly and I had a good time talking with MIL and SIL. He got to tell them all about his upcoming radio interview. He is well-versed in JFK stuff and, in fact, runs a very successful JFK website and has been invited to participate in a radio show in a couple of weeks!! He clued MIL and SIL on some of what he plans to talk about and everything. MIL was over the moon — she loves any accomplishment her kids or grandkids make.

He showed them his most recent paintings. He is painting a LOT these days, primarily water colors and acrylics, and he is getting SO GOOD. When I look at some of his work, I feel as though I am IN the scene. My MIL paints, too, though she uses oils. Her most encouraging phrase is “it’s coming along.” Sounds sort of like a left-handed (back-handed?) compliment but, from her, it’s high praise. I’m hoping to talk him into allowing me to post a couple of them; I think they’re that good! Edited at 8:20 pm to add: Hurray! He says I can scan some and post them so I will do that tomorrow!

Neither SIL nor we won the giant lottery last night. Darn. Guess this means I still have to live on a budget!

Next post, probably later this evening, is on some issues related to Biblical submission to my husband… Edited at 10:30 pm: This submission post is proving harder to write than I thought. I am struggling to find a balance between being honest and honoring my husband because, as Proverbs 31:11 states, The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. So look for the post Friday morning.

PS Weight loss is going GREAT! I am several pounds ahead of my target! I think the difference is that this time I’m not going it alone; I’m asking for His help with everything I put in my mouth (or don’t as the case may be!)

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As I write this post, Amydeanne doesn’t have a WFW post up yet so I don’t know if she’s hosting this week. Visit her at The 160 Acre Woods just in case because WFW is one of the best parts of the week!

Psalm 130:1-5
Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD. Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications. If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared. I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

I just think this is a great way to end the year — supplications for forgiveness for the old and waiting on Him and hoping in the new!

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I just love it when I’m looking for one thing and finally something completely different but beautiful!

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